A ✨ “connection to nature” ✨ isn’t as mysterious as you think
Written by Josh Epperson.
Five years ago, I barely got outside. It wasn't because I didn't like the outdoors – in theory. It was because, for most of my life, I had committed myself to the world of the indoors.
My day-to-day life was an effort to stay in as many temperature-controlled rooms as I could. Being too hot or too cold would make me whiny and sour my mood. Getting caught in bad weather was an inconvenience that I didn't feel I should have to deal with.
I told myself that I had earned this disdain for discomfort. Growing up as a biracial kid in Section 8 housing had me most familiar with a life of lack. But five years ago, I was 35, I was driving a Land Rover, and I had all the privilege to completely avoid dealing with the discomfort of the outdoors.
Today, however, I try to spend most of my time outside. I make it a point to deal with cold and heat and bad weather. My shift in mindset came from developing a connection to nature.
But what does that mean: ‘a connection to nature'?
Five years ago, I would've thought the phrase sounded too esoteric or woo-woo. It was something I could have imagined my friends who hoard crystals saying, but I doubt it would've resonated with me. I certainly had a respect for nature, but a connection? I lived in a house, I drove a car, most of the world around me was concrete.
Developing my connection took time, but there are a few lessons I learned along the way that I wish I could've shared with a younger me.
Being Outside is Good for Us
Everywhere you look, the research is clear: getting outside is good for us. Whether it's having a hospital bed near a window, a daily 20 minute walk, or submerging in nature for the majority of our lives, any connection to the outdoors is proven to be better for our health, emotions, and outlook on the world.
Yet, despite this fact, cities around the world are growing. Since 2007, half the world's population has been living in cities, and that number has only grown since. It's fair to say, a majority of us don't get outdoors nearly as much as is healthy for us.
There are, of course, the limits of time and ability. We have to pay bills, we have to take care of loved ones, and if you're in a major city, it might take a day to get to a skyline that doesn't include a building. Yet, despite those limitations, a connection with nature is possible.
Relationships Create Connection
As a kid, I got outside a lot. It was a place to play, meet up with my friends, and get out of my small apartment. But the chaos of being a teenager and getting through college mostly deepened my relationships with friends and first girlfriends, not the planet. Follow that with career building, and adulthood has largely found me inside. But driving around in my luxury car, I saw my ability to stay inside as a source of pride. I had earned this. I had built this.
Yet, seven years into my career, when a promotion fell through and I felt undervalued, I decided to work for myself. For the first time in over a decade, I had the chance to step back and evaluate how I was spending my time and what I wanted from my career. It was a big period of reflection and consideration. So, I would take walks. And it was those walks that began my connection to nature.
In the process, I found out something surprising: a connection with the outdoors is simply about building a relationship.
Think about your closest friendships. Not every single moment with our friends is a profound set of realizations, but because we spend so much time bullshitting, we build the foundation to have meaningful moments. That incredible birthday party, that night spent sharing our fears, those quiet car rides where we don't have to say much; those experiences shape us and make us feel connected. It's why friendships and relationships are the difference between health and illness.
The same is true with nature. It's about building a relationship, spending the time bullshitting so we have the foundation for profound and connected moments. In the course of my reconnection with nature over countless walks — and then a few camping trips, and then surf lessons, and then more epic trips — I learned there are four simple things we can do outside to help us develop the connection we all deserve: sit, look, listen, and touch.
The Lessons
Sit:
It's nice to be active outside, but where I felt my relationship deepen the most was when I was sitting. When I was sitting still, the world would settle in around me. I would see the movement of the birds and squirrels more clearly. I would feel the wind more acutely, and I would smell the scents of nature. But sitting did something more for me personally than anything else.
Sitting still would help me process. So much happens in our busy days. Whether it's taking care of our pets, navigating the challenges of our job, rising above slights or micro aggressions, even just keeping the to-do list in mind makes it hard to have time to process what we're experiencing.
When I sit in nature, it's a lot different than sitting indoors. The natural world has no need for emails or memes. When you sit, you settle into the landscape and become part of that context. In nature, we are not the main character. Our opinions and perspectives don't influence the wind or whether the squirrels are going to bury their food. For a moment, nothing in our environment is depending on us to complete our to-do list. To the deer, what is a to-do list? To the trees, what's a career?
When we sit outside, we can set the responsibilities of the world down for a moment and simply catch up with ourselves.
Look:
Looking at our closest friends or significant others helps us connect with them. Knowing our partner's mannerisms or what their face looks like before they belly laugh is a foundation for intimacy.
Nature also has moods, and you can see them by looking. Looking at different types of clouds can help us tell if it's about to rain. Looking at the colors of a snake's skin can often tell you something about how dangerous it is. But even looking in our own yards or local parks can help us understand and build a relationship with the world around us.
Looking also gets us more comfortable with being outside because we get familiar with things. We humans aren't so great at being welcoming or understanding of the unfamiliar — look no further than racism. But most first impressions change over time. Think about coworkers you like. Did you like them from the jump or did it take some time to realize they weren't so annoying, but actually kind of funny? Same is true with looking at nature. When we give our natural surroundings the gift of our attention, we get more familiar and become more comfortable.
Listen:
Listening can tap us into an understanding of the outdoors that's surprising. As I got outside more regularly, the world opened up as I listened. I started to recognize the calls of hawks before I saw them. I began to be able to tell the difference between squirrels, birds and deer moving through the woods. And the more I camped, the more attuned I became to the sound of running water.
Yet, there was an internal listening that also happened when I got outdoors. I was more attentive to the stories and thoughts moving through me – uninfluenced by outside input or the title wave of responsibilities, memes and mindless yapping that inundates us when we open our phones. Listening internally while outside, I stumbled onto realizations about myself or better ideas for work projects or gained clarity about a big decision I had to make.
Listening in nature can make us more grounded and more present with our surroundings and ourselves.
Touch:
When I first started getting outside again, the only thing touching my environment were the bottom of my boots. Yet, eventually, mostly out of boredom, I would want to know the texture of a certain tree bark or the temperature of a nearby stream. Whether it was running my hands along the petals of a rosemary bush or wrapping my palms around a walking stick, touch became yet another way to get to know the environment around me.
Yet, touch is also about feeling the conditions outside.
When I started spending more time outside, first, I got some better gear: a good coat, breathable pants, and a more comfortable backpack to carry snacks and supplies. Then, I started to get more comfortable with being a little cold or dealing with the heat. It happened slowly, but I could tell that temperature extremes started to bother me less, and I could experience my walks with greater comfort. Yet, along the way, I also began to question just how soft I had gotten spending so much time inside.
I realized I want to be able to deal with the cold without ruining my whole mood. I'd like to be sweating, but still nice to people. I'd like to be a little damp from the rain and still have a good day. Touching or feeling the weather around me helped me grow my capacity for resilience. It also expanded my perseverance in all kinds of situations – whether a frustrating experience at work or getting caught in the snow.
A Connection with Nature and to Self
A connection to nature isn't about just being knowledgeable of tree names and plant origins. It is about spending time building a relationship with the outdoors, and allowing that to deepen your knowledge of self. What nature reveals to us about ourselves is similar to how close human relationships serve as a mirror. Not only do we connect externally, but we expand internally.
Whether it's an hour walk once a week, a lunch break in a local park or full weekends spent in the wilderness, the more we get outside – spending time sitting, looking, listening and touching – the deeper our connection with the earth will go. And who knows what magic lives on the other side.
Josh Epperson a brand strategist, exhibition writer, creative director, and concept developer. He's collaborated with Fortune 500 companies, start-ups, community programs, and government institutions. But really, he just likes to tell stories.
josheppersonwrites.com